Next on the agenda is to talk about the paradox of the 6 human needs (in the first 4 stages the needs conflict each other).
M encourages us to strive for growth, take our own path, do not compare ourselves for others or put to much weight on grades, scores and achievements - instead valuing the knowledge we are gaining.
Now I am very guilty of pushing myself too hard - hence my mental breakdown before I met Mr T. Since then I have tried very hard to reduce my need for significance, but I think it will always be a bit of a struggle for me as it is my natural tendency. Mr T has made me feel like I belong, and I am very grateful to him for that. The nice thing about working with Sofie is that she is pushing me towards the need for growth.
M challenges us to some questions: Here are my answers:
What are your ways to get certainty? uncertainty?
In order to get certainty I have avoided moving city, I keep a close group of friends around myself, I have worked in the same office for nearly 10 years, and I check my bank balance almost obsessively to make sure I have some savings. Apparently I like certainty
and for uncertainty - I always have a variety of different activities to do with a large base of friends to do them with. I take up new sports, move jobs within the company. I guess this is a safe amount of variety for me. Oooo and I buy hoof boots!
What are the ways you get significance? Love and connection?
I write a blog - but as I don't expect anyone to read it, or tell people about it I suspect it isn't really about significance for me. Its more like a journal. I do post lots of things on fb, sign up to groups, my fav being the haflinger group as everyone is so kind and supportive there. I am addicted to spending time with my friends, I need their reassurance.
How do you get a sense of growth? contribution?
Well there is the ST Mastery course for one, my job is also always a constant learning curve which I really like. I am currently teaching my friends to rock climb - which I like more than actually rock climbing, so I guess that is contribution. And of course there is this blog - which is a growth contribution thing.
Of the 6 human needs, which two have you been valuing most?
ooo tricky... um probably certainty and connection - though as discussed my natural tendency is significance.
What are the consequences of valuing those needs in that order?
I have a very comfortable life, I can afford my two horses - just, and I live in a lovely community of supportive friends. I guess if you were going to look at the costs of those needs it is that I don't often challenge myself. In the horse world I do not compete, my riding has not really progressed in years I am still doing the same things I did when I was 14 (well less now but that is due to pony lamness... but had my prioritise been different I might have put Tonto down, abandoned Sofie and purchased a working horse.
What do your top 2 needs need to be to feel more empowered?
Growth, I guess it has to be growth if I am going to get out of my horse rut, and I think I would still like to keep connection as my second top need, as it is the one that brings me most happiness. So I suppose I need to try and let some stuff go and stop worrying so much about keeping certainty in my life. This I am going to find tricky.
- need for certainty - so that we have all the basic needs (job, house, home)
- need for variety - to keep us stimulated
- need for significance - to be seen as successful/unique
- need for community - to belong
- need for growth - to develop
- need for contribution - to care, give and support others
M encourages us to strive for growth, take our own path, do not compare ourselves for others or put to much weight on grades, scores and achievements - instead valuing the knowledge we are gaining.
Now I am very guilty of pushing myself too hard - hence my mental breakdown before I met Mr T. Since then I have tried very hard to reduce my need for significance, but I think it will always be a bit of a struggle for me as it is my natural tendency. Mr T has made me feel like I belong, and I am very grateful to him for that. The nice thing about working with Sofie is that she is pushing me towards the need for growth.
M challenges us to some questions: Here are my answers:
What are your ways to get certainty? uncertainty?
In order to get certainty I have avoided moving city, I keep a close group of friends around myself, I have worked in the same office for nearly 10 years, and I check my bank balance almost obsessively to make sure I have some savings. Apparently I like certainty
and for uncertainty - I always have a variety of different activities to do with a large base of friends to do them with. I take up new sports, move jobs within the company. I guess this is a safe amount of variety for me. Oooo and I buy hoof boots!
What are the ways you get significance? Love and connection?
I write a blog - but as I don't expect anyone to read it, or tell people about it I suspect it isn't really about significance for me. Its more like a journal. I do post lots of things on fb, sign up to groups, my fav being the haflinger group as everyone is so kind and supportive there. I am addicted to spending time with my friends, I need their reassurance.
How do you get a sense of growth? contribution?
Well there is the ST Mastery course for one, my job is also always a constant learning curve which I really like. I am currently teaching my friends to rock climb - which I like more than actually rock climbing, so I guess that is contribution. And of course there is this blog - which is a growth contribution thing.
Of the 6 human needs, which two have you been valuing most?
ooo tricky... um probably certainty and connection - though as discussed my natural tendency is significance.
What are the consequences of valuing those needs in that order?
I have a very comfortable life, I can afford my two horses - just, and I live in a lovely community of supportive friends. I guess if you were going to look at the costs of those needs it is that I don't often challenge myself. In the horse world I do not compete, my riding has not really progressed in years I am still doing the same things I did when I was 14 (well less now but that is due to pony lamness... but had my prioritise been different I might have put Tonto down, abandoned Sofie and purchased a working horse.
What do your top 2 needs need to be to feel more empowered?
Growth, I guess it has to be growth if I am going to get out of my horse rut, and I think I would still like to keep connection as my second top need, as it is the one that brings me most happiness. So I suppose I need to try and let some stuff go and stop worrying so much about keeping certainty in my life. This I am going to find tricky.
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