Things have started to get a bit deep! The straightness training course is turning into a self-help guide! Joking aside, it is really challaging me to think about the way I think, and brings back memories of the ground work lesson I had with Sally.
The first module is all about 'the power of meaning' which is the meaning we put on events. The example given is two students, who both failed a touchstone. One student felt this was a sign of her incompetence and failure and gave up, the other sees it as an interesting opportunity to develop and learn from the mistakes, this student got better. The first student had limiting and disempowering beliefs, the second student had supportive and empowering beliefs. One leads to a path of success and happiness, the other leads to a path of unhappiness and failure.
This is particularly poinient for me, as my life is utterly dominated by horrid horrid gremlins. I suffer from anxiety and depression and really struggle to tune out the negative limiting thoughts. At the back of my mind I always have a constant barrage of thoughts - your are not good enough, you can't do this, you are failing, you are worthless. It really is quite tiring. My head is a complete nob at times. Luckily for me, I have got to a place where I know these thoughts are not real, even though I think them I don't have to believe them. Admittedly, it takes a lot of conscious effort on my part to catch the thought, challenge it, and refuse to believe it. So whilst I have the thoughts, they are not my beliefs (so long as I am in a place where I am strong enough to keep challenging them). A belief is a feeling of certainty about something, and once you believe it's true it can become a self fulfilling prophecy. So If I don't challenge these thoughts and believe that I can't do something, I won't be able to do it.
Interestingly, Sofie really picks up on my negative thoughts. It makes her very emotional, she is a sensitive soul. She needs me to be positive, when I am not I can tell because she gets nervous, bardgy, and can rear at me.
oo so there are some questions again. Here are my answers:
- My horse must always… try
- My horse must never… be sad
- Most important in riding is ... to enjoy being with the horse
- Least important in riding is... status
The above all sounds fairly positive, which means when the module gets onto the green (positive) or red (negative) helmet rider, you would think I would be a green helmet. I have in the past been criticised for being 'unrelentingly positive' but funnily enough, I am often in the red zone, particularly with Tonto's failing health and Sofies on going lameness issues. It has been a real battle to try and make lemonade out of these lemons. Watching Tonto decline is so so painful for me and then to have the added stress of Sofie's lameness on top has felt unbearable at times. I have lost at least a week to crying in my bed about it unable to get up.
... but if I wanted to make lemonade what would it be? Tonto's illness, very hard to find a Brightside but I guess if he wasn't ill I would never have Sofie, and his retirement has meant I can start a whole knew very gentle relationship with him where I ask nothing of him. And if Tonto wasn't ill and inseparable from Sofie I would be rushing Sofies recovery. And if Sofie had never gone lame, I would have never discovered straightness training. So there you have it, some lemonade.
The module then goes on to give some handy tips for keeping the green helmet on.
Stratagie 1 is to re-direct the gremlins. I am reasonably good at this, if you want to see it in action you can read my blog on a spin class where I invented the cheery cheerleader to combat my gremlins.
Strategie 2 is to change your vocabulary. avoid can't, use mild words for strong emotions, avoid saying something negative about yourself or your horse, replace the word problem with challenge and avoid thinking in problems.
Strategie 3 is to change your focus, stop focusing on the problems, instead actively look for the good. Interestingly this came up on the home study course when I realised the best way to motivate sofie is to focus on what she is doing right.
Strategie 4 is to question your beliefs. I do do this with my gremlins as soon as I am aware of them I am aware that most of my dark thoughts are not really based in reality, they tend to be extreme reactions to the events. It is sometimes handy to realise you are being as mad as a box of frogs.
Strategie 5 is to create new empowering beliefs - which is where cheery the cheery cheerleader comes in. I kinda hate her as she is so sacrinely sweet, but she does enable me to achieve things that my gremlins would say is impossible.
Strategie 6 is to control what things mean. Actively seek empowering beliefs and suppress limiting beliefs
Strategie 7 is to make each thought count, because it is our thoughts that will shape our lives and will effect the quality of our life.
FEW who would have thought a horse training course would be so deep!
The first module is all about 'the power of meaning' which is the meaning we put on events. The example given is two students, who both failed a touchstone. One student felt this was a sign of her incompetence and failure and gave up, the other sees it as an interesting opportunity to develop and learn from the mistakes, this student got better. The first student had limiting and disempowering beliefs, the second student had supportive and empowering beliefs. One leads to a path of success and happiness, the other leads to a path of unhappiness and failure.
This is particularly poinient for me, as my life is utterly dominated by horrid horrid gremlins. I suffer from anxiety and depression and really struggle to tune out the negative limiting thoughts. At the back of my mind I always have a constant barrage of thoughts - your are not good enough, you can't do this, you are failing, you are worthless. It really is quite tiring. My head is a complete nob at times. Luckily for me, I have got to a place where I know these thoughts are not real, even though I think them I don't have to believe them. Admittedly, it takes a lot of conscious effort on my part to catch the thought, challenge it, and refuse to believe it. So whilst I have the thoughts, they are not my beliefs (so long as I am in a place where I am strong enough to keep challenging them). A belief is a feeling of certainty about something, and once you believe it's true it can become a self fulfilling prophecy. So If I don't challenge these thoughts and believe that I can't do something, I won't be able to do it.
Interestingly, Sofie really picks up on my negative thoughts. It makes her very emotional, she is a sensitive soul. She needs me to be positive, when I am not I can tell because she gets nervous, bardgy, and can rear at me.
oo so there are some questions again. Here are my answers:
- People are ... interesting
- Horses are ... kind
- Riders are ... a bit nuts
- Instructors are ... knowledgeable
- The horse world is ..... strange and varied
- My favorite phrase in life is ... ridicule is nothing to be scared of
- My favorite phrase about horsemanship is ... get back on
- Work is ... necessary
- Life is .... beautiful
- Riding is ... fun
- Success is ... being happy
- Failure is ... not trying
- I am ... odd (it the first thing that comes to mind)
- I am not ... dull
- My horse is .... sweet
- My horse is not .... naughty
- I love ... animals
- I hate ... cruelty
- I want ... happiness
- I need ... company
- I don't want ... fame
- I don't need ... jewellery
- Others must always… genuinely stumped here
- Others must never… ?- My horse must always… try
- My horse must never… be sad
- Most important in riding is ... to enjoy being with the horse
- Least important in riding is... status
- I can always succeed because ... I set low goals
- I will never be able to .... run
- My horse will never be able to .... run the grand national
- If I succeed, then .... I will be happy
- If I am not good enough, then ... I won't succeed?
- If I fail, then .... I guess I'll try again, or find something I care more about
- If they love me, then .... hurray
- If they reject me, then ... it doesn't really matter, they won't be thinking of me next week so I shall do the same.
... but if I wanted to make lemonade what would it be? Tonto's illness, very hard to find a Brightside but I guess if he wasn't ill I would never have Sofie, and his retirement has meant I can start a whole knew very gentle relationship with him where I ask nothing of him. And if Tonto wasn't ill and inseparable from Sofie I would be rushing Sofies recovery. And if Sofie had never gone lame, I would have never discovered straightness training. So there you have it, some lemonade.
The module then goes on to give some handy tips for keeping the green helmet on.
Stratagie 1 is to re-direct the gremlins. I am reasonably good at this, if you want to see it in action you can read my blog on a spin class where I invented the cheery cheerleader to combat my gremlins.
Strategie 2 is to change your vocabulary. avoid can't, use mild words for strong emotions, avoid saying something negative about yourself or your horse, replace the word problem with challenge and avoid thinking in problems.
Strategie 3 is to change your focus, stop focusing on the problems, instead actively look for the good. Interestingly this came up on the home study course when I realised the best way to motivate sofie is to focus on what she is doing right.
Strategie 4 is to question your beliefs. I do do this with my gremlins as soon as I am aware of them I am aware that most of my dark thoughts are not really based in reality, they tend to be extreme reactions to the events. It is sometimes handy to realise you are being as mad as a box of frogs.
Strategie 5 is to create new empowering beliefs - which is where cheery the cheery cheerleader comes in. I kinda hate her as she is so sacrinely sweet, but she does enable me to achieve things that my gremlins would say is impossible.
Strategie 6 is to control what things mean. Actively seek empowering beliefs and suppress limiting beliefs
Strategie 7 is to make each thought count, because it is our thoughts that will shape our lives and will effect the quality of our life.
FEW who would have thought a horse training course would be so deep!
No comments:
Post a Comment