Last Saturday I had a lesson with Lucy Chester to see if there was anyway I can sort Tonto's separation anxiety issues without stressing him.
Strangely enough Lucy and my horses at least had crossed paths before. Lucy used to share the lovely haff also named Tor where Sofies old owners used to be. It was this Tor that made them and Lucy interested in haflingers. All parties went on to get their own haffs and were bitterly disappointed when the new haffs turned up and were not the even tempered calm haff that Tor was.
In the case of Sofie, she ended up coming to me as she was too difficult, but Lucy persevered with hers and in the process learnt a huge amount about natural horsemanship and now is making a living sharing her haffy induced knowledge. Back to my theory that you get the horse you need not the one you want.
Anywhos Lucy and Sofies paths crossed twice more when she looked at both Clandon and Westlands to keep her haff. So I think it was about time I joined the party!
I instantly took a liking to Lucy, she has a lovely kindness to her, which Tonto picked up on as he seemed very at ease in her company - which is a rarity with T. Lucy was amused by Tonto's ambling about in the yard when she arrived and loved his cheeky inquisitive nature.
We went to the field as this is where my end goal is - to be able to leave Tonto in the field whilst Sofie is ridden without fretting.
The exercise was one of operant conditioning. We wanted to teach Tonto 3 things:
a) when sofie leaves she comes back
b) when he is calm she comes back
c) when she is away it is nice
In order to achieve this we had me in the field with Tonto doing grounding exercises and feeding treats to distract him whilst Lucy lead Sofie away and back (when Tonto was calm) in ever increasing amounts to stretch his comfort zone. Sofie loved this, it was a day of walking and eating which she was very enthusiastic about. And whilst Tonto did fret a little and called at first, he soon got the idea and was happy to be with me whilst sofie was out of sight which is really impressive on the first session.
All is hunky doory :)
At the end of the session Lucy suggested we leave it there and put Sofie straight back out. She then suggested that I should do this another 7 times and avoid doing things with them together in the mean time so that Tonto gets the idea that they can do things apart. This makes perfect logical sense... but pragmatically is really tricky.
I then had a mini panic. Not sure why this made me panic, it is probably just indicative of how little I can cope with atm. Realistically I only have 3 more weeks of daylight left, I don't think I can secure myself a walker for that many days, and if I can't bring them in I don't get my horse fix and can't treat Tonto's many infections. I also can't go down every day, Nick will divorce me and my family would be peed off that I don't see them either, plus I have a mini-break and a residential course coming up. There is also the issue that I will still most likely be putting Tonto down in November anyway (though he as rallied again which is making me wobble) so do I really want to spend my last few weeks with him in a field making him mildly stressed.
It is so frustrating because I think Lucy's method will work, I just don't have the time of resources to make this happen. I feel like I am failing Tonto here, I am finding having two horses, a full time job, family commitments, a busy social life and outside interests rather challenging. Problem is, however much I adore my horses I don't want my life to be just them and if I am not careful it will be.
So despite how inspiring the session was, and how much hope it promises I think I am going to have to be realistic and say I can't achieve this. I will do the little that I can, if I have a walker I'll give it another go, but without the continuity it is unlikely to work as well. I will also try and get Tonto a different field buddy but still in sight of Sofie. Perhaps I could try and slowly move the fields apart to widen his comfort zone over time. Again, not sure I will have the resources to do this, it really depends upon which fields are available.
Strangely enough Lucy and my horses at least had crossed paths before. Lucy used to share the lovely haff also named Tor where Sofies old owners used to be. It was this Tor that made them and Lucy interested in haflingers. All parties went on to get their own haffs and were bitterly disappointed when the new haffs turned up and were not the even tempered calm haff that Tor was.
In the case of Sofie, she ended up coming to me as she was too difficult, but Lucy persevered with hers and in the process learnt a huge amount about natural horsemanship and now is making a living sharing her haffy induced knowledge. Back to my theory that you get the horse you need not the one you want.
Anywhos Lucy and Sofies paths crossed twice more when she looked at both Clandon and Westlands to keep her haff. So I think it was about time I joined the party!
I instantly took a liking to Lucy, she has a lovely kindness to her, which Tonto picked up on as he seemed very at ease in her company - which is a rarity with T. Lucy was amused by Tonto's ambling about in the yard when she arrived and loved his cheeky inquisitive nature.
We went to the field as this is where my end goal is - to be able to leave Tonto in the field whilst Sofie is ridden without fretting.
The exercise was one of operant conditioning. We wanted to teach Tonto 3 things:
a) when sofie leaves she comes back
b) when he is calm she comes back
c) when she is away it is nice
In order to achieve this we had me in the field with Tonto doing grounding exercises and feeding treats to distract him whilst Lucy lead Sofie away and back (when Tonto was calm) in ever increasing amounts to stretch his comfort zone. Sofie loved this, it was a day of walking and eating which she was very enthusiastic about. And whilst Tonto did fret a little and called at first, he soon got the idea and was happy to be with me whilst sofie was out of sight which is really impressive on the first session.
All is hunky doory :)
At the end of the session Lucy suggested we leave it there and put Sofie straight back out. She then suggested that I should do this another 7 times and avoid doing things with them together in the mean time so that Tonto gets the idea that they can do things apart. This makes perfect logical sense... but pragmatically is really tricky.
I then had a mini panic. Not sure why this made me panic, it is probably just indicative of how little I can cope with atm. Realistically I only have 3 more weeks of daylight left, I don't think I can secure myself a walker for that many days, and if I can't bring them in I don't get my horse fix and can't treat Tonto's many infections. I also can't go down every day, Nick will divorce me and my family would be peed off that I don't see them either, plus I have a mini-break and a residential course coming up. There is also the issue that I will still most likely be putting Tonto down in November anyway (though he as rallied again which is making me wobble) so do I really want to spend my last few weeks with him in a field making him mildly stressed.
It is so frustrating because I think Lucy's method will work, I just don't have the time of resources to make this happen. I feel like I am failing Tonto here, I am finding having two horses, a full time job, family commitments, a busy social life and outside interests rather challenging. Problem is, however much I adore my horses I don't want my life to be just them and if I am not careful it will be.
So despite how inspiring the session was, and how much hope it promises I think I am going to have to be realistic and say I can't achieve this. I will do the little that I can, if I have a walker I'll give it another go, but without the continuity it is unlikely to work as well. I will also try and get Tonto a different field buddy but still in sight of Sofie. Perhaps I could try and slowly move the fields apart to widen his comfort zone over time. Again, not sure I will have the resources to do this, it really depends upon which fields are available.
