pony for sale -£361.50

So things have been a little odd of late. I've wanted to blog about them but my head is so full of mixed feelings its hard to get things down.

I had agreed with Sofie's owners that when the insurance runs out I would make a decision about Sofie. I thought this meant at the time the claim runs out (December) but they meant when the policy runs out (November) so it came as a bit of a shock to me when they started to press for a decision this month. Still its only 4 weeks difference and an honest miscommunication.

Anyway, timing is not great from my perspective - Tonto has been unwell and costing me and arm and a leg and family and friends are hardly supportive of the idea of pony number 2 - especially when pony number 2 might well be permanently lame. I think I would have tried to rehome Sofie at this point... except for the fact that Tonto won't let me. He loves her and apparently refuses to live without her. Sigh!

In a bid to help me make a decision, and also aware of my finances, Sofies owners offered to pay her insurance for a year if I signed over ownership. Given a) Tonto refuses to live without her and b) in all honesty I would be heavily involved with finding Sofie a home and won't let her be put down if one could not be found I conceded and said yes. Ultimately, I am committed emotionally now either way, so doing it legally doesn't make much odds.

It turns out you cannot insure a horse that is not in your name - and so I have been written a check to cover the insurance costs. In effect, rather bizarrely, I have been paid to take Sofie. This makes Sofie the cheapest horse yet:

1. Tonto - £850 (rip off)
2. Sam - £650 including tack and rugs
3. Frodo - an old dishwasher
4. Sofie - -£361.50

All I have to do now is work out how to complete the paperwork to make it official on her passport. This would make Sofie the first horse I legally owned (as all the rest were in my parents name).

I should be feeling elated. I don't.

I feel sort of relieved that the decision has been made and I'm not going to loose Sofie just yet - but also incredibly guilty that I have gone against my family - and in particular my husbands wishes. I also feel guilty that I have taken on a horse I cannot guarantee a home for life. I still don't know what I will do if we have a family. I would feel better if they were both out in the field costing a bit less money, but I am not sure Tonto's health is quite up to that yet.

And to make matters even worse Sofie has started rearing again! This is not endearing her to me in the slightest. I wonder if she can pick up on all my mixed emotions and this is the cause? Who knows, but it is really not helping.

A day of vets and chocolate

Tonto on his way back to the field,
feeling woolly headed from sedation

Sofie's insurance is coming to an and - so I thought I would get one last vet check on her policy before her leggies are written off.

At the same time I got Pete from Liphook out to give Tonto a veteran MOT.

Frustratingly, like busses the vets all arrived at the same time - so I didn't get the opportunity to focus my mind on either horse. As Mr T was heavily sedated I stayed with Sofie and her vet Mary for most of the visit.

Mary was very kind and remembered Sof from her visit back in March. She commented on what a sweet horse she was. We did a lamness check and unfortunately Sofie is still lame, slightly better than in March but not much and worse on her right leg (the one with a split in the hoof). Sof seemed fairly sound on a straight line, but not good on a circle. We didn't nerve block to take a further inspection, but didn't really need to as even I could see she is lame. Sofie was also foot sore on the hard ground which made the assessment difficult. Mary suggested three courses of action:

1. another MRI
2. wait 4 months and take another look in February
3. trial walking and see how she goes

The preference was another 4 months then see - which was sort of my plan anyway. Riding in the winter is miserable and I can't separate her from Tonto at any rate.

We had a discussion about my ambitions with Sofie, and Mary seemed optimistic that as a light hack she might be alright. She did suggest I could always give her bute to ride - but I have never felt very comfortable with that approach. Mary seemed happy for me to do the straightness training thing - though I am fairly sure she was just humouring me at this point.

Pete agreed that Tonto is looking better. He suggested adding a bit more protein into his diet and keeping him on one bute a day for the legs. Pete was running late that day so not in the most amicable of moods which was a bit frustrating. He also didn't get to do a full assessment of Tonto, because Tonto immediately ran off and we decided better to sedate. I figured an impatient vet and a stressed Tonto were not a great mix. Unfortunately my distraction with Sofie meant that I forgot to ask Pete to check out Tontos gentleman parts. I'm really annoyed at myself for this as I would like them to be checked out as they continue to cause him problems.



consolation chocolate

So by the end of the day I was feeling a bit deflated. The visits have probably cost me £500 to tell me things I already know! I probably won't ask the vets to come and see Sofie again - its just a waste of money really. I still hope to send her to Rockely Farm, but am not sure how to separate her from Tonto to achieve this.

I also know I am being stupid. Sofie, most likely, will never be truly sound. I should just hand her back to her owners and walk away - or see if I can get her a retirement home. But the thought of loosing them both is too much. Plus if I got rid of Sofie I could never justify getting another horse. There goes my dreams of cross country and drag hunting.

Deflated, I went home and had a feast of chocolate brownies, chocolate gue pots and a glass of wine in front of the fire. It didn't really make me feel much better but it was worth a try.

Ground work and straightness training

Now that the nights are dark weekday ride and leads are out, but we do have a flood lit school to our disposal. I have also been feeling a bit guilty that Sofie has been so side lined by Tonto’s health so wanted to re-ignite my ambition to do ground work with her in the school after work.

There is an instructor at the yard who does do groundwork and bonding lessons. This seemed like an easy place to start so I thought I would give it a go. Our first lesson was really interesting. We worked on the concept of ‘grounding’ which is the ‘being present’ thing from the trust technique course I did a while back. Interestingly I found this really uncomfortable with Sofie. I felt very anxious around her. I didn’t expect her to react to me but she almost instantly started to sinc with my breathing when we started. She was also very keen to be with me, at one point dragging the instructor to me when I managed to ground myself with positive energy. The only problem is Sofie is so insecure that she wants to be ontop of me, which then makes me worried. When I worried, Sofie shuffled. My main worrisome thoughts were ‘I can’t do this’ which is something I often think. Something for me to start to tackle I guess.

We then moved onto walking and parking – to try and improve Sofies space issues. The idea is that Sofie learns to take ques from me for where I want her to be, and learns that it is OK to be standing away from me. This had a slightly faulty start when the instructor tried to demonstrate what she wanted… but applied too much pressure and Sofie reared. I felt bad about that because I forgot to mention the rear thing – Sof hasn’t reared since May so I had forgotten about the trick. It also made me anxious again as I don’t like her rearing so close to me. Never-the-less we continued and I got her to do some parks. Sof clearly felt worried about what I was asking so I never got her to stay in one place too long. All in all we were out there for 45 minitues. The time passed so quickly!

Last night I gave parking another go. This time I focused on being relaxed and positive. After all we are only walking and halting! Once I stopped stressing Sofie was much happier. She got it really quickly, only taking a few goes. I then decided to stop there before she got too bored and worked with Tonto. I find working with Tonto much more comfortable. He doesn’t make me as nervous and Sof. Tonto understood park almost instantaneously, this shouldn’t surprise me. We have had 17 years to understand each other, we are like an old married couple in this respect.

Going forward I plan on doing more with Sally (the instructor) and also working on straightness training to see if I can build in some physio aspect. This might help both ponies with their aliments. I’ve already downloaded and read Marijke de Jong’s e-book and signed up to some fb groups. Silke at the yard is also going to give us a lesson on Monday night which I am looking forward to. It is really nice to do something proactive for a change, and I look forward to learning some new stuff. 

Mr T feels better

Sorry for yet another Tonto update: his health issues are somewhat occupying me atm, poor old Sofie has been pushed to the back burner a bit.

Anyway a little update on Tonto. He seems brighter and happier for all of his pampering. He has started to be naughty again on a regular basis and is taking more interest in food and the world around him. He has got a little better at standing on three legs – though still notably sore when lifting his front right foot. He has put on a bit of weight, but you can still see his ribs, but I think his coat looks better. We have recently started to reduce his bute and he seems to be coping well. His feet are still riddled with thrush – and his gentleman parts are still a bit skanky, though he has gone off me checking them so I haven’t rummaged for a while. However jury is still out as to whether Tonto does, or doesn’t have Cushing’s. He might just be feeling happier because he is coming in at night and not feeling stress from separation with Sofie. The vet is coming back out tomorrow for a check-up so I shall seek his opinion then.

Still I’m glade to have a slightly happier horse, even if he is crippling me financially.