pony for sale -£361.50

So things have been a little odd of late. I've wanted to blog about them but my head is so full of mixed feelings its hard to get things down.

I had agreed with Sofie's owners that when the insurance runs out I would make a decision about Sofie. I thought this meant at the time the claim runs out (December) but they meant when the policy runs out (November) so it came as a bit of a shock to me when they started to press for a decision this month. Still its only 4 weeks difference and an honest miscommunication.

Anyway, timing is not great from my perspective - Tonto has been unwell and costing me and arm and a leg and family and friends are hardly supportive of the idea of pony number 2 - especially when pony number 2 might well be permanently lame. I think I would have tried to rehome Sofie at this point... except for the fact that Tonto won't let me. He loves her and apparently refuses to live without her. Sigh!

In a bid to help me make a decision, and also aware of my finances, Sofies owners offered to pay her insurance for a year if I signed over ownership. Given a) Tonto refuses to live without her and b) in all honesty I would be heavily involved with finding Sofie a home and won't let her be put down if one could not be found I conceded and said yes. Ultimately, I am committed emotionally now either way, so doing it legally doesn't make much odds.

It turns out you cannot insure a horse that is not in your name - and so I have been written a check to cover the insurance costs. In effect, rather bizarrely, I have been paid to take Sofie. This makes Sofie the cheapest horse yet:

1. Tonto - £850 (rip off)
2. Sam - £650 including tack and rugs
3. Frodo - an old dishwasher
4. Sofie - -£361.50

All I have to do now is work out how to complete the paperwork to make it official on her passport. This would make Sofie the first horse I legally owned (as all the rest were in my parents name).

I should be feeling elated. I don't.

I feel sort of relieved that the decision has been made and I'm not going to loose Sofie just yet - but also incredibly guilty that I have gone against my family - and in particular my husbands wishes. I also feel guilty that I have taken on a horse I cannot guarantee a home for life. I still don't know what I will do if we have a family. I would feel better if they were both out in the field costing a bit less money, but I am not sure Tonto's health is quite up to that yet.

And to make matters even worse Sofie has started rearing again! This is not endearing her to me in the slightest. I wonder if she can pick up on all my mixed emotions and this is the cause? Who knows, but it is really not helping.

A day of vets and chocolate

Tonto on his way back to the field,
feeling woolly headed from sedation

Sofie's insurance is coming to an and - so I thought I would get one last vet check on her policy before her leggies are written off.

At the same time I got Pete from Liphook out to give Tonto a veteran MOT.

Frustratingly, like busses the vets all arrived at the same time - so I didn't get the opportunity to focus my mind on either horse. As Mr T was heavily sedated I stayed with Sofie and her vet Mary for most of the visit.

Mary was very kind and remembered Sof from her visit back in March. She commented on what a sweet horse she was. We did a lamness check and unfortunately Sofie is still lame, slightly better than in March but not much and worse on her right leg (the one with a split in the hoof). Sof seemed fairly sound on a straight line, but not good on a circle. We didn't nerve block to take a further inspection, but didn't really need to as even I could see she is lame. Sofie was also foot sore on the hard ground which made the assessment difficult. Mary suggested three courses of action:

1. another MRI
2. wait 4 months and take another look in February
3. trial walking and see how she goes

The preference was another 4 months then see - which was sort of my plan anyway. Riding in the winter is miserable and I can't separate her from Tonto at any rate.

We had a discussion about my ambitions with Sofie, and Mary seemed optimistic that as a light hack she might be alright. She did suggest I could always give her bute to ride - but I have never felt very comfortable with that approach. Mary seemed happy for me to do the straightness training thing - though I am fairly sure she was just humouring me at this point.

Pete agreed that Tonto is looking better. He suggested adding a bit more protein into his diet and keeping him on one bute a day for the legs. Pete was running late that day so not in the most amicable of moods which was a bit frustrating. He also didn't get to do a full assessment of Tonto, because Tonto immediately ran off and we decided better to sedate. I figured an impatient vet and a stressed Tonto were not a great mix. Unfortunately my distraction with Sofie meant that I forgot to ask Pete to check out Tontos gentleman parts. I'm really annoyed at myself for this as I would like them to be checked out as they continue to cause him problems.



consolation chocolate

So by the end of the day I was feeling a bit deflated. The visits have probably cost me £500 to tell me things I already know! I probably won't ask the vets to come and see Sofie again - its just a waste of money really. I still hope to send her to Rockely Farm, but am not sure how to separate her from Tonto to achieve this.

I also know I am being stupid. Sofie, most likely, will never be truly sound. I should just hand her back to her owners and walk away - or see if I can get her a retirement home. But the thought of loosing them both is too much. Plus if I got rid of Sofie I could never justify getting another horse. There goes my dreams of cross country and drag hunting.

Deflated, I went home and had a feast of chocolate brownies, chocolate gue pots and a glass of wine in front of the fire. It didn't really make me feel much better but it was worth a try.

Ground work and straightness training

Now that the nights are dark weekday ride and leads are out, but we do have a flood lit school to our disposal. I have also been feeling a bit guilty that Sofie has been so side lined by Tonto’s health so wanted to re-ignite my ambition to do ground work with her in the school after work.

There is an instructor at the yard who does do groundwork and bonding lessons. This seemed like an easy place to start so I thought I would give it a go. Our first lesson was really interesting. We worked on the concept of ‘grounding’ which is the ‘being present’ thing from the trust technique course I did a while back. Interestingly I found this really uncomfortable with Sofie. I felt very anxious around her. I didn’t expect her to react to me but she almost instantly started to sinc with my breathing when we started. She was also very keen to be with me, at one point dragging the instructor to me when I managed to ground myself with positive energy. The only problem is Sofie is so insecure that she wants to be ontop of me, which then makes me worried. When I worried, Sofie shuffled. My main worrisome thoughts were ‘I can’t do this’ which is something I often think. Something for me to start to tackle I guess.

We then moved onto walking and parking – to try and improve Sofies space issues. The idea is that Sofie learns to take ques from me for where I want her to be, and learns that it is OK to be standing away from me. This had a slightly faulty start when the instructor tried to demonstrate what she wanted… but applied too much pressure and Sofie reared. I felt bad about that because I forgot to mention the rear thing – Sof hasn’t reared since May so I had forgotten about the trick. It also made me anxious again as I don’t like her rearing so close to me. Never-the-less we continued and I got her to do some parks. Sof clearly felt worried about what I was asking so I never got her to stay in one place too long. All in all we were out there for 45 minitues. The time passed so quickly!

Last night I gave parking another go. This time I focused on being relaxed and positive. After all we are only walking and halting! Once I stopped stressing Sofie was much happier. She got it really quickly, only taking a few goes. I then decided to stop there before she got too bored and worked with Tonto. I find working with Tonto much more comfortable. He doesn’t make me as nervous and Sof. Tonto understood park almost instantaneously, this shouldn’t surprise me. We have had 17 years to understand each other, we are like an old married couple in this respect.

Going forward I plan on doing more with Sally (the instructor) and also working on straightness training to see if I can build in some physio aspect. This might help both ponies with their aliments. I’ve already downloaded and read Marijke de Jong’s e-book and signed up to some fb groups. Silke at the yard is also going to give us a lesson on Monday night which I am looking forward to. It is really nice to do something proactive for a change, and I look forward to learning some new stuff. 

Mr T feels better

Sorry for yet another Tonto update: his health issues are somewhat occupying me atm, poor old Sofie has been pushed to the back burner a bit.

Anyway a little update on Tonto. He seems brighter and happier for all of his pampering. He has started to be naughty again on a regular basis and is taking more interest in food and the world around him. He has got a little better at standing on three legs – though still notably sore when lifting his front right foot. He has put on a bit of weight, but you can still see his ribs, but I think his coat looks better. We have recently started to reduce his bute and he seems to be coping well. His feet are still riddled with thrush – and his gentleman parts are still a bit skanky, though he has gone off me checking them so I haven’t rummaged for a while. However jury is still out as to whether Tonto does, or doesn’t have Cushing’s. He might just be feeling happier because he is coming in at night and not feeling stress from separation with Sofie. The vet is coming back out tomorrow for a check-up so I shall seek his opinion then.

Still I’m glade to have a slightly happier horse, even if he is crippling me financially. 

Tonto vet history

The note I gave to the vet for Tonto's medical history
 

Summary

• about 20 years old
• up to date on tetanus, not on flu
• retired since 2013
• history of back pain, believed to be  muscular but not fully investigated
• has arthritis in hocks
• ringbone in front feet
• history of being a good dooer but struggling keeping weight on in recent years
• often has thrush infections in feet
• has had unusually mucky sheath of late which he has found uncomfortable
• suspected of Cushing’s but tested negative on tests
• has some behavioural issues – needle phobic (I have aural sedation to hand for visit)
• seems to have a very high threshold for pain
• condition is on the decline and debating PTS due to reduced quality of life
• owner wants to rule out all possibility of improving quality of life before deciding on PTS 

Summer 2011

Diagnosed with chronic ringbone effecting joint margins on both front feet in 2011. Was continued in light ridden work and prescribed bute as needed. Shoes were removed.

Autumn 2010 photo - the day I saw he was lame

Summer 2013

 

By 2013 Tonto was showing indications of increased pain. Some difficulty holding up right for when picking out feet and had a ‘goat-on-rock’ stance when saddle was presented to him, his back was also sore. Tried putting shoes back on, but didn’t help. We re-Xrayed and confirmed significant degeneration with damage surrounding the ligament connective tissue in front feet and arthritis in both hocks. October 2013 fully retired to field livery and on bute during winter months. Shoes removed.

 

Autumn 2014

 

2014 blood test for Cushing’s. Came back with normal result.

Summer 2015

Summer 2015 living out on lush grass field but not gaining weight the way he used to (now a healthy weight). Had some episodes of choke with his feed.

 

Autumn 2015

October 2015 started to loose weight despite good grazing, was seen separating himself from the rest of the herd, noted he seemed uncomfortable behind and had repeated episode of choke despite having wet feed. Teeth were investigated and rasped, on inspection there were some sharp edges, but nothing very significant. Tonto continued to loose condition and developed a mite infestation in his feathers. Saliva test revealed he had tape worm. Had a bit of a runny nose on and off. Bloods were taken which revealed slightly elevated white blood cell count but no other significant markers. Cushing’s re-tested with cortisone levels slightly higher than normal values but below threshold.

 Winter 2015/6

December 2015, was not coping with mud, with regular trips and falls in difficult footing so put on stable livery. He put on weight but appeared withdrawn on occasion. He started a course of catrophen to see if this could ease symptoms. A slight improvement was seen – but this realistically could have been optimism on the owners part.

February 2016, moved to a dry flat field to try and help mobility and living out. He was given an unlimited supply of hay and a daily feed and was taken off bute. Lost a little condition but not too much, occasionally seen standing with head lowered and withdrawn – but difficult to observe as field was remote.

Spring 2016

April 2016, moved to field livery at westlands. Re-tested for Cushing’s, again borderline but negative. Given a booster shot of catrophen. Continued to struggle with mobility but fairly happy in himself. Weight was healthy – but needed daily feeds to achieve this (always thinner than the other horses on similar grazing).

 

Summer 2016

June 2016, was seen weight shifting on back legs. Vet called to find he had fly strike in his sheath. This was treated but he still seemed uncomfortable behind. Seemed better after a night on box rest with limited socked hay. Pulses felt by farrier, but not by vet. Tested again for cushions, with a borderline negative result. Decided probably not lamanitic and so injected hocks with steroids (with a conservative dose for safely). When injecting vet noted there was very little space left in the joint margin (by feel). Some immediate improvement seen but not long lasting. Other bloods ran, no significant markers barring a slightly elevated white blood cell count. Weight healthy – but needing daily feeds to achieve this.

 

July – August 2016 continued issues with mucky sheath and having to work hard to keep weight on (feeds daily). Some weight shifting seen on and off behind.

Autumn 2016

September 2016 lost more condition – with some further muscle wastage and tucked up behind. Seemed depressed. Moved to rich grazing and extra fatty feed but no improvement. October 2016 moved to stable livery.

 

Ups and Downs

Operation get Tonto happy has been having highs and lows.

Two days after bringing them into the pony palace Tonto had a blip. He had been turned out in the drizzle without a rug and came in withdrawn, shaking and not eating. I only picked up the panicked calls from the yard at 10pm due to a work commitment. By the time I got down the next day he was brighter. I suspect the damp and cold of the previous day had made him uncomfortable. I was relieved he was feeling better - but it is a clear warning sign that he is very unwell. I decided to call the vet and up his bute to 2 per day.

The vet came out the following Monday - we got Pete out from Liphook who specialises in oldies. Fearing the worst I forewarned work, got my father to come along for moral support and wrote out Tonto's full medical history - I might post it here for the record. Just as I was explaining to the vet that I think it might be time for a difficult decision Tonto rallied. He buggered off during the 'trot up' dragging me into a parked car in his quest to get back to Sofie. The vet concluded that he still had fight in him, and with his case history it would be worth trying him on cushings meds as he has so many cushings symptoms.

Since then Tonto seems to be having more up days than down. We are starting a gentle introduction to try to avoid the 'paroglide veil' which is a common side effect of the meds. He still seems occasionally lethargic and a bit fussy on food - though has taken more of an interest in hay of late. I think he is putting on weight, and can now raise his front right foot - which is something he was struggling with last week.

He is still on two bute - it is hard to tell if improvement is due to new meds, or pain killers, or the extra TLC he is getting. If he continues to brighten we will try to reduce the bute to see if there is improvement without these.

I am desperately trying not to get my hopes up of a partial recovery, but it is hard to resist dreams of him making a miraculous recovery like some cushings horses have and even riding him again. But these are dreams, which are ignoring his history of arthritis chances are he will get a little better - but still be an ill horse. Probably just well enough to avoid pts, but not well enough to live out - making me entirely stressed and broke for the foresable future.

Pampered pony palace

So operation 'make Tonto as happy as possible' has started.

Step one: put Tonto and Sofie in the lushest field we could find. Sofie was ecstatic - she will be less so this morning when she realizes she will be muzzled from now on.

Step two: the pony palace. The yard went all out for me and they both had brand spanking new rubber matting and beds. The stables face opposite each other so they can see one another. Literally couldn't be a better set up.

I went to bring the pampered duo in. Tonto certainly seemed livelier, he was trotting up and down the fence line with Sof. I briefly tied up Sof up in the yard to groom leaving Tonto to potter about and investigate things whilst loose - but Sofies itches were back and she was destroying her neck on the tie rail so decided it was best to go straight to the palace.

Sof lead the way and marched nicely into her stable. Sof historically isn't a stable fan, so I decided to soften the blow by putting a foraging block in there to keep her occupied. This is meant to last a week or so, but she was so enthusiastic I don't think it will survive the night!

Tonto followed gaimfully behind - the other livery were marveling at him strolling after us loose obediently. When we got to the stables he was a little confused, so I ushered him into his box to investigate it. After a bit of sniffing he seemed quite happy. Even had a little bum scratch on the back wall. Other liveries came over to say hi - Tonto obviously found all the excitement a bit challenging, but it was happy energy not negative. I decided to let him chill whilst still hearing my voice by chatting to others a few boxes down. When I returned Tonto was bright eyed and bushy tailed looking out of his box, and Sofie had fallen into a food comor in her. Happy little ponies.

After an hour or so I gave Tonto his dinner and left. Fingers crossed they continue to be happy little horses, and Sof behaves herself on the way back to the field this morning.

Tonto's keeper

Since my honeymoon Sof and Tonto have been in separate fields. This has worked beautifully for Sofie – she has slimmed down to a healthy weight and is happy in a field with her mate Jessie and new bf. Her feet are looking much better and her mane is growing back.

Skinny Tonto having a cleantrax bath - stood like this for an
hour and a half

Unfortunately Tonto has been miserable. He is pinning for sof and is loosing more and more weight. He looks very lame and thin and is just soo sad. I tried leaving him out in the field for a fortnight to get him used to being away from Sofie – but he would forlornly whinny as I walked away leaving him at the gate and I could hear him calling for Sof from the distance. I cracked last weekend and brought him in. He was so delighted to come into the yard and see Sof but it also gave me a good chance to assess his awful condition. He is ribby, his back end is entirely withered and tucked in. His coat is dull and his eyes are sad. Just breaks my heart. I gave him a long cleantrax foot spar as his feet were black with thrush and a good cuddle. He was nuzzling me and falling asleep with his face in my chest, but wasn’t interested in hay and did just seem tired. He is in pain, and it just isn’t fair anymore. I asked him if had had enough, I got the feeling his answer was yes.

When I went to put them back out again he first marched us off into the field of green grass rather than follow the track to his field. I decided to humour him and grazed sof with him. When I went to continue to the field he refused to follow and just stood calling to us. He couldn’t have made it any clearer – I want to stay here with you.

I couldn’t bring myself to force him back to his field, not when he so unwell and the terrible decision seems to be looming near. Tonto is unlikely to make this winter, so lets make his last months as good as they possibly can be. Sod the cost.

The only way I could see of getting him the TLC he needs and keeping him with Sof that he loves without ruining Sofie’s health is to put them BOTH on stable livery. It will cost me a fortune, but for Tonto I’ll do it.

In November Liphook are coming to do a health check. I am going to ask them to look at Tonto with the view of – is there anything that can be done to improve his quality of life. If the answer is no, which I expect it will be, then I plan on letting Tonto out of his pain.

Funny how things work out, turns out Sofie’s ligament damage has come at just the right time. It has allowed her to be a comfort to Tonto and me when we need it most.

The soap opera world of feild dymanics

At the end of August I married my long-suffering horse-widowed partner. Given the circumstances I felt for once I should forsake the ponies and go away with him on honeymoon.

I have to be honest, I felt some level of trepidation leaving the horses for so long. Tonto continues to be a skinny bean and Sof is obese, so I had to split them or face one very fat or thin horse on return.

As luck would have it 'diet camp' has been set up in the neighbouring field to Tonto, and now that Jessie was in the mix I thought it was high time to separate Sof into diet camp. I was hoping it would not be too traumatic for T as he could still chat to her over the fence and had Jessie to occupy him.

Alas, all good plans go tits up. First problem is that diet camp was occupied by a particularly randy ginger pony who took a shine to Sofie. This very much got up Mr T's nose and he spends most of his days stuck on the fence line brooding over their new romance (I don't think Sof is really that interested in ginger Casanova - I think she is just using him for his body). Secondly, whilst I was away Jessy was also moved out as she was getting too tubby. This upset Tonto further. Finally the long grass field they were meant to move to whilst I was away never happened. Net result is that I had a very skinny and upset Tonto on my hands when I returned :(.

First things first I demanded T's field move to the long grass. Mission accomplished. The new field had three young geldings in there - but they are too young and timed for T to see them as a threat to his harem so they have all mixed nicely together. Unfortunately, despite the long grass, unrivalled assess to the remaining mares, Tonto is still pinning for Sofie. He desperately wants to come in, and resits being turned out again. Also, the yard seem to be having some trouble feeding him his meds. He is the only one being fed in the field, and the others mug the staff to get to his bucket. They tried taking him out to feed - but then he resisted going back in afterwards and reared at them. Understandably they are not happy about the situation. I haven't been having an issue, and I think Tonto is slowly settling so I am hopping that it will all calm down soon and I won't have to move him again. I am not sure he would cope with another field group change.

Sofie equally seems unhappy with her Casanova. She misses the girls, particularly Jessie and I often see her looking wistfully over the fence at Jessie's field. As Jess is on a low grazed field, with a only a small field a day I figured it wouldn't do any harm to move sof to where Jessie is. Might as well have at least one happy horse.

Oh pony dramas.

The crew cut

Unfortunately the dreaded sweet itch has struck again.

I am desperate for Sofie to have lovely long blond locks but it looks like this year it is not to be :(

After she had rubbed out 3/4 of her main I felt it was time to give up and start again. So disappointing after growing it for so long - but better to cut it now and give it the winter to grow back, then continue with a half and half scraggily mane. It also means I can get to the sweet itch to treat it.

The only ray of sunshine is that I have found an excellent product - netex itch stop - that seems to have quieted it all down. Fingers crossed with a rugless winter and netex next spring we will have the long main back for 2017.

New friends

It has been a bit of a battle balancing Tonto's need for constant feeding and Sofie's need for a diet. Whilst I don't want to split them up because Tonto adores Sof, in the long term I think I will have to.

I don't really know why T adores Sof the way he does. Sofie is a terrible gf. She steals his food, bosses him around, flirts with all the other horses in front of him, is physically abusive and never puts out!

I suspect she isn't that keen on Tonto, and just tolerates him. I think Tonto might be the horse equivalent of Albert Steptoe. Sofie seems to be desperate for someone else to talk to after months of isolation with T the dirty old man. In any case Sof has had 4 months of 'quite' turn out, so it is probably safe to allow her a few more friends.

So the plan is to put Tonto and Sofie back out with the mares. Hope Tonto develops a crush on a new unsuspecting mare and then move Sofie over to 'diet camp' next door.

As I lead them to their new field, I had to walk through a field with a horse Jessie, who used to be stabled at Tonto and Sofies old yard. She immediately recognised them, and when I opened the gate to let my two through, Jessie insisted on going with them. She charged through after them and I could not catch her to get her back out. That was that then, horses had decided, Jessie was joining T and Sofie in the ladies field.

Sofie is delighted, she has a new BBF in Jessie and follows her round the field like a puppy.

Tonto is delighted - he has a harem! (He doesn't seem to notice that all of his harem try to avoid him). He thinks he is the bees knees and has been prancing about the yard whinnying and pouring at all the other geldings to prove how much of a 'man' he is.

Currently there is a bit of a school disco situation going on. Where the three original mares don't want to talk to our trio. The two group stand at opposite ends of the field and seem to blank each other when they walk past. I am hoping that in time they will merge together more.

Unfortunately Tonto still thinks Sofie is the best thing since sliced bread... so no fat camp just yet. In a way I feel bad to take her out because Sof is so happy with Jessie. In the mean time, muzzle is back on.

 

Feild suffle and debating the future

Just a little update on Sofie.

Sofie's feet are on the road to recovery since the shoes have come off. Her feet are looking back to tidy after the last trim and she is heal landing on her right foot (but not left) on concrete. Her wall is still a bit high (after breaking off from the nail holes) so we will be using boots for riding until she has a good amount of wall to walk on so her feet don't get bruised.

We were evicted from our track - as they need that field to recover for winter grazing. It is a shame as Sofie's waistline was doing well on track life. I had yet to put down pea gravel for her so at least I haven't lost money. Now the ponies are at the back of the estate near the river on a more grassy patch. Not good for poor sof as she has to wear a muzzle and her sweat itch has flared right up. She seems to spend most of the day at the gate looking wistfully at her old field. Tonto is also loosing weight. I think he is stressing about the boys next door and won't leave Sof so neither are grazing. Boo.

Not sure what to do about turn at atm. I have been considering moving Tonto in with the boys next door and Sof into 'diet camp' with the Shetlands. But I think Tonto would find me taking Sof away just too stressful and realistically this is probably his last summer. It would be nice if he could enjoy it with his lady. Alternatively I could try and put Tonto back in with the mares, to lesson the blow of me taking Sofie away.... but then I have the issue that I don't think I would be able to lead him out of the field and they would probably hurt him as they are a bit kicky. So together with a muzzle might be the lessor of the evils. We only have 3 months of rich grass left, winter should be easier - if Tonto makes it that far. I won't be able to do much with Sofie (as Tonto has to come on hacks with us) but perhaps that is no bad thing for her ligaments.

Our plans for Rockley are not going well. Insurance company say no - and even now I have involved the financial ombudsman they are not backing down. I have two more levels of complaint to escalate it to - but if they haven't yielded yet I think they probably have a good legal case so getting money for Rockley is looking unlikely.

So in despair I contacted the nice lady in Oxford again to see if she would still be interested in Sof. She might come down in the summer holidays to come see her. I still wont do anything until the new year, but I can't help think if I can find Sof a loving home for life where she will not be required to do anything too strenuous this might be the best solution. At least this is what my head says, my heart still wants her to stay.

Mr T's hock injections

In a desperate bid to get Mr T comfortable I have forked out for hock injections. Theoretically steroid/HA injections directly into the joint should reduce inflammation and pain and provide some lubrication. The problem is hock injections do not always work, particularly for chronic cases like Tonto's.

Still, he is so uncomfortable that the alternative is pts so lets give this a go.



Sleepy Tonto

Mr T has a long memory - and still hasn't forgiven the vet for the last set of blood tests. We felt it was better all round to sedate him before she got there. I was given aural sedatives which work by placing them under the tounge. They are magic! Stress free sleepy pony. He was so far gone that I had to tie his head to the gate to stop him from hurting his eye as he was resting awkwardly on it.


When it came to the injections the vet had some trouble getting the fluid into his left hock. There was almost no space or joint fluid left in the joint margin. Looks like Tonto's hock has nearly fused on this side. No wonder it has been so painful for him.


recovering with Sof

sharing hayladge

Since the injections Tonto seems a bit more perky. He still has an awkward gate, but has a bit more of a spring in his step and seems happier weighting the legs. I really hope this is a genuine improvement and not sheer optimism on my part.


It is now just a waiting game to see how long it lasts.

Mr T doing a nice square hault a few days later

Inpromptu trust technique

Tonto’s health has been failing and it feels like my world is falling apart.

I am doing everything I can for him, but it feels like I am loosing the battle atm.

Fridays blood results (got some blood on a third attempt poor boy) reveal that he is still borderline not cushions (27.5 on ATCH test, anything below 29 is considered normal) and his liver and kidneys appear to be holding up (there were low level white blood cell markers again, but this could be due to stress). Whilst this all sounds very positive – it means that the source of T’s discomfort is most likely arthritis – something I cannot cure with medication. It is looking very likely that Tonto has seen his last Christmas.

Of late Tonto has been a bit depressed, he spends a lot of time standing with his head lowered. He has pain written across his face with tense eyes and pursed lips. He has not kept his weight and feels the cold easily. He has lost his confidence with others and is being bossed around which is unlike him. And he is sometimes very slow, and stands camped up, shifting weight uncomfortably between his back legs. I think he might also be struggling to get up and down to the ground. His quality of life is not great and I cannot let him continue to suffer.

I have been feeling the weight of this terrible decision and have been very low.

Yesterday I was pleased to see that Tonto was having a good day. He whinnied when he saw me at the gate and he and Sof came happily trotting over. We had a lovely walk, Mr T was striding out and dragging Karen around. She had kindly offered to lead him – but in reality T lead her around the block. Perhaps the recent rain has made the ground more comfortable for him.

Sof and Tonto with matching plats (and missing manes) before the sun came out

After I turned them back out I decided to inspect the track and collect last weeks’ haynets. It had drizzled most of the day but the evening was warm with bright blue skies and radiant green from the fresh grass. It was a nice evening for a stroll. I passed the snoozing bunnies who seem to take little notice of me. I was on the loop back, enjoying the nearby bird song, when I noticed Tonts trundling towards me.

At first he was a bit apprehensive – unsure of the haynets in my hand. I showed them to him and he soon relaxed. He then just stood fairly close by to me, seemingly enjoying my company. I decided to give him a little scratch, which he enjoyed, and then we stood, leaning on each other, enjoying the evening sunshine peacefully.

I became aware that I was very relaxed, probably much calmer than I have been in several weeks, and Tonto’s bottom lip had become floppy and his head lowered – a sure sign that he is having a doze. I decided to take a seat on the floor to see if he would join me on the ground.

I then tried to actively meditate (performing trust technique). When I did I felt a weight in my chest, a heavy sadness, I could not tell if it was my sadness or Tontos. He let of a few yawns and licking and chewing, but remained sleepy. Perhaps he was letting go of his sadness, or picking up on mine. I tried to remain peaceful, whilst sporadically telling Tonts I loved him. His head dropped further and his eyes closed. He clearly wanted to lie down with me.

The moment was briefly interrupted by nosey Sof who wanted to know what was going on. She wandered over, which woke Tonto up has he whinnied and stamped his foot at her, clearly not wanting to share me. Sof ignored him, bumped her nose to my hand saying ‘hey’ then wandered off for some more grazing leaving us in peace.

Me and Tonto stayed in our on little zen world until a noise from the woods spooked him. He woke up and the spell was broken. He came up to me, gave me the same little fist/nose bump Sof had done, then wandered off to join Sof at the far end of the track for a graze.

I remained seated and considered what had just happened. We definitely had a moment. And it was a moment that Tonto had started. Perhaps he started it because I was in a relaxed frame of mind, which is becoming increasingly rare due to worry. We definitely communicated that we loved each other, and it sounds really odd, but I got the feeling that Tonto was desperate for me to be peaceful and happy. The trust technique is all about helping your animals be peaceful, but I wonder if Tonto was trying to help me.

On Friday the vet is out again to inject Tonto’s hocks and hopefully provide him with some relief. I really hope it works. Not sure what I will do without this special horse in my life.

I guess the silver lining to all this is that Tonto’s condition means that I can enjoy him for what he is. I no longer ask him to do anything, I rarely even lead him. Most of the time he is loose and follows me and Sof around. He is completely at liberty which has allowed the subtleness of our relationship to flourish.

I hope that in future I remember to make the same time and space for Sofie.

Sofie stays

The plan agreed with Sofie’s owners is for me to battle to get her sound until Christmas and if unsuccessful find her a new home either as a brood mare or a companion.

Last week I sore a post on facebook from a lady looking to rehome a hafflinger as a companion/very light hack, home for life. Now whilst my plan was not to re-home Sof just yet, the add sounded perfect for her and homes like that don't come up often so I thought it was worth an investigate. A few messages on fb were sent and the lady sounded lovely and interested in taking Sof on.

The next day I felt immensely sad, I don’t really want to let Sof go even if it is to a wonderful home.

We had our first short walk hack in 4 months (as part of the barefoot rehab). She was excellent. How many horses can you tack up after 4 months and then walk out with the reigns on the buckle. This made the prospect of letting her go even harder.
 

In the evening the lady got back to me. She too had been thinking of Sof all day, and whilst she was very tempted to take her on she was concerned about future vet bills and so declined. I simply felt relief. I clearly am not ready to let Sofie go just yet.

I wish I could guarantee her a home for life, regardless of lameness outcome. I feel awful that I can’t. I just can’t see how I can pay her livery whilst on maternity leave. I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

For now she stays.

All smiles after first hack in a long while

Last day in shoes

Still lame

 

Track system

Since remedial farriery did not help Sofie I am now even more determined to rehab her barefoot. I've been campaigning to send her to Rockley Farm - but unfortunately the insurance company will not pay so for now I am stuck.

Whilst I continue to battle the insurance company/raise money for treatment, I thought I could start some rehab at home. This entails taking off the shoes, getting serious about diet, and starting to work her feet.

I brilliant way of achieving these aims is to set up a track system. I had my first stab at it today, but I ran out of electric fencing so I think I will need to improve the track at a later stage by fencing more off. The idea of the track is to encourage the horses to move and limit their consumption of rich grass.

I also plan on putting in some different surfaces such as pea gravel to encourage her feet to toughen up.

Back to bare

Just a quick post to say 'Hurray the shoes are off'

I have no idea how they were staying on as almost all of the wall had pealed away to reveal the nails. Never-the-less they are gone now.

I was relieved to see that Lady Sof seemed entirely comfortable without them and was happily trotting around her field when I turned her out.

Let the barefoot rehab begin.

Hanger and strife

war wounds on Sofie

Sofie is two weeks into her diet and has hit breaking point with the muzzle. She is HANGRY! It looks like she has taken her frustration out on her field mates. I came down yesterday to find Sofie with a giant gash down her bum.



Sad Mr T

I also found Mr T looking the most miserable I have ever seen him. Poor chap was standing curled up in the divide between the fields, back legs tucked underneath him and shivering. He had a kick wound on his stifle and from the way he as been very wary with Sof, I think she may have taken her hanger out on him as will. Poor Tonto.

After a short struggle (it is difficult to lead two when Tonto when he is trying to avoid Sof) I got them both in and cleaned off Sofie's wounds and bundled Tonto up in rugs until he warmed up. Tonto was weight shifting again on his back legs clearly in pain :(. They both spend another night in stables.

The problem is it is hard to know the cause of Tonto's lameness. Is it laminitis or arthritis? I booked the vet in for today - but she felt that she could not do further diagnosis with out aural sedation as Tonto was not going to let her nerve block. And to be honest I don't want to put him through that.



Tonto with his legs all tucked up

But what to do in the mean time? I can't turn them back out, it is the second time in two weeks Tonto has come in really lame. All the activity/grass is clearly not doing him any good. So I think I am going to try Sof and Tonto on a track with a hay only diet. See if it improves Tonto's feet, and Sofies mood.



Lamness update

Sof has been on her holiday for the prescribed 3 months. She has had a lovely time, relaxing in the field, getting dinner (with bute), new shiny shoes and having nice in hand strolls round the block with Tonto. I suspect Sof would be perfectly happy to go on convalescence indefinitely, which is probably just as well. Despite my best efforts she is just as lame as she was in December. Not an inch of improvement :(

Admittedly I never had high hopes for recovery – the vet told me as much. Equally Sof has not been as quite as ideal. The shoes have made her feet crumble, and she now has to have a serious diet because she has put on weight now out of work. I think the ‘treatment’ has actually left us slightly worse off.

So I am rebelling. The vet has conceded that traditional treatments won’t work and referred us to Rockely Farm. Hurray. I have contacted our insurance company, who have refused to pay. I am not taking no as an answer, so replied by sending them an article about a similar case where the financial ombudsman was in favour of the client and the insurance company had to pay. I am waiting to see where my mild threat gets me. But for Sof, its worth the battle.

In the mean time I am not working on trying to set up a track at home, I have another livery interested in joining me on this venture. I don’t have the experience or expertise of Rockely – but it would at least keep better control of her weight and better prepare her for re-hab. If I can keep her on a track over the summer months we can say goodbye to Mr muzzle and I would not need to trim her feet as regularly. Still, I need to convince the yard owners to let me build one in the first instance.

Oh yes – and those shiny shoes are coming off. They are doing her no good and damaging her feet. There is such little foot left I think they will fall of any day in any case, and I am not damaging her hoof wall any further by attempting to put a new set on.

I might also start riding her gently, just walk. This hopefully will strengthen up her ligaments and condition her feet. It does not appear that riding makes her any worse in any case.